Hello, lovely! Iโm Nospheratt and this is Joy Every Week - a weekly quest to find joy in everyday things. Enjoy! :)
๐ฟ Today, weโre making space for sadness.
Maybe you canโt tell, but Iโm really, really sad these days.
Filled with sorrow and horror. Terrified of so many things. Unable to process one wave of grief before another comes crashing down over me, over us.
I said in the beginning:
We are allowed to be sad, to be hurt. We acknowledge pain, trauma, depression, anxiety, loss, and all the other deeply difficult things that are part of our lives. โ The Quest for Joy
But I forgot that just because something is a tenet for me โ never pretending everything is fine; difficult emotions like sadness, sorrow and grief are to be acknowledged and not buried โ it doesnโt mean everyone else knows thatโs what I believe.
I focus on joy on my writing because thatโs what I need, what I believe all of us need.
Because I know we are all sad, terrified, lost.
But sometimes things need to be said; we need to be reminded that itโs okay to feel what we feel. That itโs human to be grieving what we have lost, and mourning the future thatโs not there anymore.
๐ฟ You Are Not Alone
However, I tend to acknowledge my pain only to myself, in private.
Because I donโt want to add to anybodyโs burdens. My sorrow is my own, and I donโt want to add to whatever pain you are carrying.
And I forgot that sometimes sharing a burden makes everyoneโs load a little lighter.
Sometimes, we need to see someone elseโs pain so we feel less alone. So we know that we are not the only ones feeling like this. This tightness in the chest, the clenched fists, the screams trapped on the back of the throat. The fear, cold and jagged, slithering through our veins.
The heavy weight of sorrow on our shoulders, the infinite tiredness, eyes burning with sleeplessness and horror.
I want you to know that I feel like this, too.
Some days it takes all my courage to get up, to even get out of bed. To stop myself from curling up in a ball and crying for a week or a century.
There are days when all I want to do is to give up. Hide.
I am always, always tired. Even when Iโm not. Thereโs this existential tiredness underlying everything else, like a subterranean river running through the roots of my very being.
There are moments when despair strikes my soul like lightning, scorching everything in its wake.
Looking for joy, reveling in it, is how I cope, how I survive.
But I also make space for pain and sorrow, too. Usually before the joy part.
Iโm sorry I forgot to share that with you, my friend. So Iโm dedicating this edition to Shirley (check her Tarot for Humaning, itโs fantastic! ๐), who reminded me that itโs important to say:
Itโs okay and necessary to feel what you feel.
Itโs important to allow space for the hurt and scared parts of ourselves.
So let's be gentle with our tender hearts and bruised souls.
Letโs make space for our sorrow, our pain, our sadness.
I call this making of space โSinging so the sadness can sleep, under the willow tree.โ
Itโs a line from a poem I wrote back in 2016. This speaks to me because it evokes tenderness; I have this poor little sadness, and I will take care of it. I will sing to it so it can feel safe and sleep, in a place of quiet, peace, stillness; under my favorite tree.
This Weekโs Quest - Making Space for Sadness
Ideas & inspiration to acknowledge the hard

PLEASE be careful โ donโt force yourself to do anything that you donโt want to. Donโt do anything that will drag you down to a depression pit.
(And remember to look for professional help if you need it. Therapy has helped me more than anything. )
Proceed with caution, and be safe, okay? ๐
1 - Acknowledge your feelings
Acknowledging what you feel is the best way to validate your feelings. Give yourself permission to feel what you are really feeling, and stop fighting yourself.
I know there are times or situations when you canโt afford to even think about your feelings and emotions.
But even saying to yourself โIโm feeling a lot of painful stuff. I canโt do anything about it right now, but I see you, feelings. I know you exist.โ is way better and more helpful than trying to pretend the pain doesnโt exist, or that youโre perfectly fine when you are not.
If you can, take a little bit of time to think about how youโre feeling, admitting that youโre not okay, that youโre hurting, that you are scared โ or whatever it is thatโs going on with you. Itโs the healthiest thing you can do. It will get you unstuck and it will help you to cope.
And it will help you find a way forward, too. We cannot solve a problem, fix a thing or make anything better if we donโt know what we are working with.
2 - Make space for what you feel
This is very personal. You are the only one who can know or decide what works for you. But just as we make space for joy, we can make space for sadness, grief, pain and sorrow.
My method of choice is writing; as you may already know, I do a lot of journaling.
But I also use other tools:
๐ฑ A simple list of feelings and emotions
I do this almost every day, as part of my daily journal. Itโs quick and allows me to do an โemotional dumpโ whenever I need it. Itโs more of a maintenance thing; a way to keep things from piling up too much until they blow up in my face or drag me under to the depression pit.
๐ฑ Writing poetry
Thereโs something powerful about turning pain into beautiful, haunting verses. What I write is very raw, sometimes unfinished; but itโs not meant to be polished, itโs not written for anyone but me.
I write to take these shards of glass from under my ribs, to pour the hollowness from my chest into paper. To shape my sorrow into something I can comprehend, touch, instead of the formless, unending darkness that hides inside my skull.
And I like to go back and re-read it, even years after โ for me, itโs staring at the jagged, broken pieces of myself, and finding beauty, courage and strength in them.
๐ฑ Creating image galleries or compositions that express what Iโm feeling
Looking for photos that match my emotions somehow helps me work through them. Thoughts like โYeah, this picture conveys despair butโฆ itโs not exactly what I need. I want something that evokes being lost, unmooredโ help me clarify and unearth whatโs really in my heart.
๐ฑ Singing songs that match my emotions
Sometimes I donโt have the words I need, so I borrow someone elseโs lyrics. And actually singing along helps me to really connect with what Iโm feeling and letting it out. Is not rare for me to end up crying as I sing; and even though itโs painful, it helps.
I have actual playlists on Spotify for this.
๐ฑ Writing fanfic
For me, few things are more helpful to process trauma than working through it via a character; giving them all my feelings and emotions, and then telling a story of how that character overcomes the challenges and gets everything I need.
๐ฑ Allowing myself to cry.
Sometimes, thatโs the only thing that will make me feel better.
If I canโt just sit down and cry, watching stuff that makes me cry helps. Personally, I donโt like depressing things; fiction that makes me emotional because people are good or kind, overcome challenges or get a happy ending works better for me.
But you do you; whatever works for you is always the right choice. ๐
๐ฑ Sadness journal
This is new; but it occurred to me that just like a journal for joy is a good, healthy practice, having a dedicated place to work through the pain is a good idea.
Iโm actually excited about this; messing around with text, images, colors and quotes to process darker, heavier feelings.
Thatโs It For Today!
This was at the same time very hard to write, and very easy to write.
I hope itโs helpful to you, even in a very small way. ๐
And if youโd like to share, tell me: have you allowed space for your sadness or other difficult feelings? How are you working through them, if at all?
Until next time. โNospheratt ๐๐ฟ
Gosh! So good, my sweet ! Iโm tired today, bone tiredโฆ but itโs sunny and Iโm listening to a blackbird symphony with sparrows as back up singers and itโs enough โค๏ธ
SO beautiful. ๐๐๐