Hello, lovely! Iβm Nospheratt and this is Joy Every Week - a weekly quest to find joy in everyday things. Enjoy! :)
πΏ Today, weβre making space for sadness.
Maybe you canβt tell, but Iβm really, really sad these days.
Filled with sorrow and horror. Terrified of so many things. Unable to process one wave of grief before another comes crashing down over me, over us.
I said in the beginning:
We are allowed to be sad, to be hurt. We acknowledge pain, trauma, depression, anxiety, loss, and all the other deeply difficult things that are part of our lives. β The Quest for Joy
But I forgot that just because something is a tenet for me β never pretending everything is fine; difficult emotions like sadness, sorrow and grief are to be acknowledged and not buried β it doesnβt mean everyone else knows thatβs what I believe.
I focus on joy on my writing because thatβs what I need, what I believe all of us need.
Because I know we are all sad, terrified, lost.
But sometimes things need to be said; we need to be reminded that itβs okay to feel what we feel. That itβs human to be grieving what we have lost, and mourning the future thatβs not there anymore.
πΏ You Are Not Alone
However, I tend to acknowledge my pain only to myself, in private.
Because I donβt want to add to anybodyβs burdens. My sorrow is my own, and I donβt want to add to whatever pain you are carrying.
And I forgot that sometimes sharing a burden makes everyoneβs load a little lighter.
Sometimes, we need to see someone elseβs pain so we feel less alone. So we know that we are not the only ones feeling like this. This tightness in the chest, the clenched fists, the screams trapped on the back of the throat. The fear, cold and jagged, slithering through our veins.
The heavy weight of sorrow on our shoulders, the infinite tiredness, eyes burning with sleeplessness and horror.
I want you to know that I feel like this, too.
Some days it takes all my courage to get up, to even get out of bed. To stop myself from curling up in a ball and crying for a week or a century.
There are days when all I want to do is to give up. Hide.
I am always, always tired. Even when Iβm not. Thereβs this existential tiredness underlying everything else, like a subterranean river running through the roots of my very being.
There are moments when despair strikes my soul like lightning, scorching everything in its wake.
Looking for joy, reveling in it, is how I cope, how I survive.
But I also make space for pain and sorrow, too. Usually before the joy part.
Iβm sorry I forgot to share that with you, my friend. So Iβm dedicating this edition to Shirley (check her Tarot for Humaning, itβs fantastic! π), who reminded me that itβs important to say:
Itβs okay and necessary to feel what you feel.
Itβs important to allow space for the hurt and scared parts of ourselves.
So let's be gentle with our tender hearts and bruised souls.
Letβs make space for our sorrow, our pain, our sadness.
I call this making of space βSinging so the sadness can sleep, under the willow tree.β
Itβs a line from a poem I wrote back in 2016. This speaks to me because it evokes tenderness; I have this poor little sadness, and I will take care of it. I will sing to it so it can feel safe and sleep, in a place of quiet, peace, stillness; under my favorite tree.
This Weekβs Quest - Making Space for Sadness
Ideas & inspiration to acknowledge the hard

PLEASE be careful β donβt force yourself to do anything that you donβt want to. Donβt do anything that will drag you down to a depression pit.
(And remember to look for professional help if you need it. Therapy has helped me more than anything. )
Proceed with caution, and be safe, okay? π
1 - Acknowledge your feelings
Acknowledging what you feel is the best way to validate your feelings. Give yourself permission to feel what you are really feeling, and stop fighting yourself.
I know there are times or situations when you canβt afford to even think about your feelings and emotions.
But even saying to yourself βIβm feeling a lot of painful stuff. I canβt do anything about it right now, but I see you, feelings. I know you exist.β is way better and more helpful than trying to pretend the pain doesnβt exist, or that youβre perfectly fine when you are not.
If you can, take a little bit of time to think about how youβre feeling, admitting that youβre not okay, that youβre hurting, that you are scared β or whatever it is thatβs going on with you. Itβs the healthiest thing you can do. It will get you unstuck and it will help you to cope.
And it will help you find a way forward, too. We cannot solve a problem, fix a thing or make anything better if we donβt know what we are working with.
2 - Make space for what you feel
This is very personal. You are the only one who can know or decide what works for you. But just as we make space for joy, we can make space for sadness, grief, pain and sorrow.
My method of choice is writing; as you may already know, I do a lot of journaling.
But I also use other tools:
π± A simple list of feelings and emotions
I do this almost every day, as part of my daily journal. Itβs quick and allows me to do an βemotional dumpβ whenever I need it. Itβs more of a maintenance thing; a way to keep things from piling up too much until they blow up in my face or drag me under to the depression pit.
π± Writing poetry
Thereβs something powerful about turning pain into beautiful, haunting verses. What I write is very raw, sometimes unfinished; but itβs not meant to be polished, itβs not written for anyone but me.
I write to take these shards of glass from under my ribs, to pour the hollowness from my chest into paper. To shape my sorrow into something I can comprehend, touch, instead of the formless, unending darkness that hides inside my skull.
And I like to go back and re-read it, even years after β for me, itβs staring at the jagged, broken pieces of myself, and finding beauty, courage and strength in them.
π± Creating image galleries or compositions that express what Iβm feeling
Looking for photos that match my emotions somehow helps me work through them. Thoughts like βYeah, this picture conveys despair butβ¦ itβs not exactly what I need. I want something that evokes being lost, unmooredβ help me clarify and unearth whatβs really in my heart.
π± Singing songs that match my emotions
Sometimes I donβt have the words I need, so I borrow someone elseβs lyrics. And actually singing along helps me to really connect with what Iβm feeling and letting it out. Is not rare for me to end up crying as I sing; and even though itβs painful, it helps.
I have actual playlists on Spotify for this.
π± Writing fanfic
For me, few things are more helpful to process trauma than working through it via a character; giving them all my feelings and emotions, and then telling a story of how that character overcomes the challenges and gets everything I need.
π± Allowing myself to cry.
Sometimes, thatβs the only thing that will make me feel better.
If I canβt just sit down and cry, watching stuff that makes me cry helps. Personally, I donβt like depressing things; fiction that makes me emotional because people are good or kind, overcome challenges or get a happy ending works better for me.
But you do you; whatever works for you is always the right choice. π
π± Sadness journal
This is new; but it occurred to me that just like a journal for joy is a good, healthy practice, having a dedicated place to work through the pain is a good idea.
Iβm actually excited about this; messing around with text, images, colors and quotes to process darker, heavier feelings.
Thatβs It For Today!
This was at the same time very hard to write, and very easy to write.
I hope itβs helpful to you, even in a very small way. π
And if youβd like to share, tell me: have you allowed space for your sadness or other difficult feelings? How are you working through them, if at all?
Until next time. βNospheratt ππΏ
Gosh! So good, my sweet ! Iβm tired today, bone tiredβ¦ but itβs sunny and Iβm listening to a blackbird symphony with sparrows as back up singers and itβs enough β€οΈ
SO beautiful. πππ