Reclaiming Lost Joy
It’s never too late.
If you’re over a certain age, you may remember these guys:
I was a fan, back in the early 90s. Then I mostly forgot about them, until they launched this song earlier this year.
And we're still just kids from a nobody town
Still just kids that are messing around
Making the most of the things that we found
I fell in love with it. Because I am, actually, a kid from a nobody town. And even though I’m north of 40, I’m still messing around, making the most of the things I’ve found along the way.
And because there’s so much joy here. They’re having so much fun. They’re back, they’re happy to be together. They’re celebrating their past, and who they are now. Dancing, just like they used to, and having the time of their lives.
It made me think about many things. Acknowledging (and maybe honoring) who I was, where I came from. Claiming space for exploration, for experimentation. Making the most of the things I have, the things I’ve created, the life I’ve built. The person I am today.
Reclaiming joy that was once lost.
Lost Joy
You know this one: something you loved, something you really enjoyed, that was forgotten. Buried under the passage of time, obliterated by trauma, cast aside by the business of growing up and having responsibilities.
Or maybe something you really wanted and could never have, for whatever reason. Probably something simple, that wasn’t available to you due to financial constraints, your parents opinions, geographical accessibility. Maybe due to societal mores or some other bullshit.
Reclaiming Joy
My list started with paper books and notebooks. I’ve always loved messing around with paper. Writing, reading, crafting. I was one of those people who had a stationery paper collection back in the 80s.
I love the possibilities of digital. I own hundreds of books on Kindle. I couldn’t, and wouldn’t even want to have all of them occupying physical space in my house. I adore the ease of taking notes on my phone, adding links and whatnot. Having thousands of photos of my trips.
But I missed the feel of holding a book. The soft whisper of the pen as it dances across the page. Opening a photo album and running my fingers over the photos. The sensorial experiences that can’t be replicated by digital substitutes.
So this year I decided to get some notebooks and pens. Buy a few special books in paperback or hardcover.
I’m being really careful to not go overboard, because I’m also a bit of a minimalist; having an easy to maintain home is really important to me. Finding the balance between these two joys - simplicity and sensory pleasure - is a good challenge. I like that it requires me to be thoughtful about the choices I make.
And being thoughtful means that every item I decide to bring home feels even more special.
Other joys I’ve reclaimed:
Earrings
Tarot cards as inspiration
Writing poetry & ramblings just for me
Dancing
House plants
Watching movies
Things that I’m working on reclaiming/bringing back to my life:
Video games
Coloring
Writing letters
Blogging
Each one of these things is meaningful to me. Reconnecting with them feels like recovering parts of myself I had lost, and opens new opportunities for joy every day, every week.
What’s on your list?
This Week’s Quest - Reclaiming Your Joy
1 - The lost joys
Think about things that brought you joy in the past, that are not longer part of your life.
What are these things? Name them.
How did they make you feel?
Why did you stop doing them?
How can you reclaim them, bring them back to your life?
These can be childhood stuff, like games and candies. Or maybe things you used to do when you lived somewhere else, or before you started the job you have now.
Keep in mind that it doesn’t necessarily have to take the same exact form. What’s important is the way those things make you feel.
For example: if you’re thinking about the joy you felt playing a game, the best way to reclaim it may be to procure a copy of the same game.
Perhaps what you liked about it was playing it with friends, so any game will do, as long as you enjoy it together.
Maybe the joy of it was the sense of discovery; so you could get a different game in the same genre and enjoy the exploration.
Infinite possibilities. You just need to be creative.
2 - Allow space for pain and sorrow
Sometimes we abandon or forsake things because they’re linked to painful experiences.
To keep with the example of the game: maybe you used to play it with someone that’s not longer here. Or it reminds you of difficult times in your childhood. Or it was part of game nights hosted by you and your ex.
Sometimes it’s not easy to untangle the pain from the joy. And you don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to, if you don’t feel ready.
But if you want to reclaim it, give yourself grace, space and time. You’re going to need to be patient, and willing to deal with the shards of trauma that will come up.
Looking for alternative ways to experience the same kind of joy may be crucial here.
Focus on the way something made you feel, instead of exactly what it was; and explore ways to connect with that same feeling.
This Week’s Clues
📚Reads
➡️ How to Reclaim Your Playful Self and Find More Joy
When was the last time you did something playful? As kids, we innately know how to play and how to use our natural imagination, inquisitiveness, presence, and creativity to find joy in day-to-day life. Somewhere along the way, as adults, we often lose our connection to these playful qualities within us. We take on more responsibilities, we become more serious, we have to deal with life’s day-to-day stressors, and we often forget how to play.
A simple 4-step guide to rediscover what kind of play brought you joy when you were a kid, and adapt it to your current life.
➡️ 10 Simple 'Childhood Joys' That Benefit People Over 50, According to Psychologists
"Childhood joy" is a misnomer, as adults can enjoy these activities too. However, the term is what it is for a reason: "Childhood joys are the simple activities and experiences that have the power to evoke the pure bliss of being a child.”
From food to crafts, lots of ideas and activities you can try, no matter if you’re over 50 or not.
Let’s immerse ourself in the things that bring us joy. Because in the immersion we find rest. We find peace. We find joy. We find answers to problems.
And these things aren’t “nice to haves” like culture would like you to think — THEY ARE ESSENTIAL.
Resting the brain and finding flow through joy.
🎥 Watch
Each moment of joy is small, but over time, they add up to more than the sum of their parts. —Ingrid Fetell Lee
This is our Quest for Joy in a nutshell. It’s EXACTLY what we’re doing here.
🎨 Art
This cuteness gave me so much joy, it knocked me over. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
🌳 Quote
That’s It For Today!
What joy are you going to reclaim this week?
Until next time. —Nospheratt
I enjoyed reading this, Nospheratt. It brought back memories of my childhood and the lazy walks I used to take along the quiet tree-lined streets in the neighborhood where I grew up. It also reminded me about my love for books. From an early age I'd spend hours on end in my bedroom reading all kinds of books. They were my refuge, my safe place. They still are.
This is such a great reminder to look for places of joy and actively engage with them, and you were thoughtful enough to give me the tools to make it happen!
My joy this week has meant carving out time at the end of almost every day to read with my younger son. We used to read stories every night, but as the kids got older they opted to read to themselves. And then they read to the dog. Now they're slowly coming back to read with me, but this time as partners in the story, me reading one chapter, them reading the next. And how this brilliant 8-year-old has grown! There's no hesitation in his voice at the complex words, he pauses in just the right places, corrects himself, uses great voices for the characters. Listening to a child read to me, the adult, is a type of joy I didn't expect, and now I cannot get enough!