The Joy Of Coming Back Home
One of the best parts of traveling.
Hello! :) I’m Nospheratt, and this is Joy Every Week - a weekly quest to find joy in everyday things.
I am fucking exhausted.
Completely and utterly exhausted.
These past few weeks were amazing, don’t get me wrong. I had guests, people I love and don’t get to see in person all that often. I explored three new cities - Cologne, Brussels and Bruges. I spent a week in my favorite city in the world, Madrid. I had so much fun, it’s hard to put into words.
I love traveling, getting to know other cultures, spending time with my people.
And I always come out at the end tired to the bone, to my very soul. Feeling at the same time immaterial, transparent, and heavy like a weary boulder.
When my travels are long, I often found myself sick when I return. Some kind of unspecified plague1 which I think it’s as much emotional fatigue as physical tiredness.
But still.
Coming back home is one of the best parts of traveling.
Coming Home
The familiar door, ever happy to see me. The jangling song of the keys, the one I know by heart.
The contended sigh as I drop my suitcase on the nearest available space.
Every small detail of this place is mine. Each tiny piece of this place is a part of me.
The little humidifier on my desk. My plants. My mismatched mugs and never-ending boxes of tea. Blue drinking glasses and old spoons, the too-small refrigerator. Four crooked throw pillows and a few slightly worn blankets. Books and notebooks and pens.
This place that is mine, and it’s me.
Home.
Every Day
Coming home means going back to my routines, the things that allow me to function as a person when I’m not occupied with the wonders of traveling.
Writing, reading. Journaling. Work.
Meditation, pilates, stretching.
Opening the windows in the morning and watering the plants.
Grocery shopping. Menu planning. Eating healthy-ish food.
Drinking lots of water.
Finding moments of silence, solitude, contemplation.
Baggage
When I come back, I’m never the same person that left how many days or weeks ago.
I bring back more baggage than suitcases; it seems to me it’s hard to travel an not learn something new about the world or yourself. 2
For example: Madrid is my favorite city in the world, since I lived there for two years - 2018 to 2020.3 When we first moved there, I was intimidated by it. It’s a big metropolis, we didn’t know anybody, and despite speaking the same language, the culture is pretty different from Uruguay.
Since moving away, we visit Madrid every chance we have. And during this last visit, I realized that after all this time, it actually feels like home. Like I belong there; it’s my city. We even jokingly call ourselves madrileños to this day.
Which in turn made very clear that I haven’t reached that level of comfort with Genève. Mostly because I haven’t taken the time to really get to know it, explore it, make it mine.
I will work on it from now on. But I don’t know how long it would have taken me to be aware of this, have I not traveled.
Slow
It’s never easy, and it’s somehow the easiest thing, to come back home.
The not-easy part is transitioning from traveler mode, vacation time, to the “I’m back on Earth” timezone. To the “I have commitments to fulfill” plane of existence.
The easy, joyful part is how everything slots into place when I cross the threshold. Even the new pieces, the new baggage.
I’ve been taking things slow, and I’m really proud of that. Allowing myself space, giving myself grace.
Slow mornings. Slow work. Taking time for lunch. Closing the day early.
Fall
After a gruesome summer, fall seems to have finally - finally! - arrived. Moody, gloomy weather. Rainy days, soft light and cold winds.
My favorite season.
Perfect for coming home, taking a breath, taking things slow.
I’m so happy to be here.
And I’m happy you’re here, too.
This Week’s Quest - The Joy Of Coming Home
Ideas & inspiration to find your joy.
1 - Think about the every day
Even when you’re not traveling, coming home is part of your life.
For work or errands or all the other things we do in the big outside, you’re crossing the door more often then not.
So think about:
What are your favorite parts of coming home?
List the things that make you sigh with happiness once you close the door behind you.
What stresses you when you’ve just arrived?
Make a list, and see if you can figure out ways to minimize the stressors.
What could you add to your coming home routine, that would give you joy?
Maybe it’s a dedicated place where to put your keys. Maybe it’s having everything ready to brew a cup of tea or a mug of coffee. Or your slippers waiting by the door. Be creative - what would really enhance the “I’m finally home” feeling?
2 - Make a plan for the return trip
Before I leave for any trip, I always make a plan for my return. The plan include things like:
Stuff I don’t want to forget to do because I’ll be too tired; like watering the plants, resetting my alarms or thawing food for dinner.
What are we going to eat? So I don’t have to figure it out when I’m exhausted, cranky and probably hungry.
A buffer day before going back to work & obligations, if at all possible. I try to come back home on Saturdays instead of Sundays. It may be a day less of travel, but the added rest means I’m not starting the following week half-dead.
It’s nothing complicated, but taking care of those details in advance saves me a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety, and it makes for a smoother, happier arrival.
📚Reads
➡️ Homstaphoria: The joy of coming home, knowing you don't have to leave again for the rest of the day
Picture this: It's a crisp Winter evening, and you've just home returned from a long day at work.
As you kick off your shoes and wriggle out of your bra, you sink into the welcoming embrace of your couch, and a wave of relief washes over you.er you.
Suddenly, you realize with a jolt of excitement that you have no further obligations outside your cozy sanctuary.
That, my dear introvert, is the essence of Homstaphoria.
➡️ 41 Simple Cozy Things You Can do to Feel Comfy, Warm and Relaxed
A list of 41 simple cozy things you can do everyday to indulge in comfort, warmth and relaxation.
I’m copying most of these to my journal and making a Fall Bucket List out of it. Nº 10 especially made filled me with longing: Unplug for the Afternoon. (Which says a lot about the sad state of our lives nowadays, perpetually plugged in - but that’s a matter for another day.)
🎥 Watch
I’ve been enjoying this channel - Cozy Rain - immensely. Love having the sounds as background when I’m working on the computer, or the video playing while I work on something else.
That’s It For Today!
I hope you had fun while I was gone. Next week, we’ll be celebrating fall and all the joys of my favorite season. Don’t miss it!
Until next time. —Nospheratt
Always tested negative for COVID.
Hard but not impossible; if you really try, you can stick to the strictly familiar and close your eyes to anything that may challenge your current view of the world or yourself.
We spent lockdown in a 40 sqm / 430 sqf studio, yes.
I hope you had a wonderful time, wherever you went. Travelling has always been one of the most enjoyable activities for me. And, as you can imagine, one of my favorite places to visit is a place you know well, at "the end of the world"... ;-)
I say "Aaah" as I connect with that feeling. Delightful. I also have small ways to be at home wherever I am. Children have such "transitional objects" - a favourite doll or toy, a security blanket or whatever. I have a small black and white kitten soft toy who can be carried in a pocket, put into my luggage, and can be placed in any hotel room. Do I, as a 77 yr old man, love the little cat? Well, no, but I am fond of him/her. The baby cat represents my "home feeling". Thus, like a snail, I carry some part of my home with me.